New No-Ad Serving Technology Innovation: Code Name Goggle

Here’s a newsflash for all you tech investors out there. There’s an innovative new stealth company we heard about that’s developing a supercool freculture product innovation that serves no ads, and blocks all innovative advertising you encounter in your life. Not only will this innovative product block all advertising on the Internet, but it innovatively blocks all advertising you encounter–period.

I had an email exchange with the company’s innovative CEO, Eric Twit and learned the following:

Dr. Twit wrote: “We lived through the last advertising crash, and we look around and see the potential for another one.”

“What? Me worry?” I said. “How can you possibly think that there’s going to be an advertising crash in the innovative advertising economy? Won’t we just innovate our way out of any downturn?”

“It has something to do with subprime debt, hedge fund crashes, the war in Iraq, increases in the national debt and a field of zombies for president,” said Twit. “Plus, Google is going to Washington.”

“You think any of that stuff is important?” I said. “It’s not very innovative.”

“No more important than before the last stock market crash,” said Twit. “But let me tell you about the product. We offer a service that blocks all advertising in your life. Just think. If you use our product, you’d never see or hear another ad. Not online, not on billboards, not TV, not radio.”

“How would you do that?” I said, intrigued.

“Eyeware”, said Dr. Twit.

“Eyeware? What do you mean, eyeware?” I said, flummoxed.

“I mean you wear our product and it blocks all advertising from your visual and audio capacities.”

“Brilliant!” I said. “How innovative!”

“Thank you. We call it “Goggle”,” Twit smiled.

“You mean Google. That’s taken”, I said assertively.

“No. It’s called Goggle. One “O” two “Gs”. Theirs is different.” Twit was patient.

“Ingenius! So transformative and yet descriptive! But how do you innovate money?” I cried.

“We charge an innovative monthly fee.”

I scratched my head. “You mean…you charge cold hard cash for a product? At a fixed rate? What’s that called again? A price, right? What is that, Web 3.0?” I said, puzzled.

“No, I think it’s more like Business 101.”

So there you have it, folks. The latest and greatest from The Valley. We’ll be keeping an eye on this hot little startup.


Cold hard cash.

I like it. Put in the earplugs, put on your eyeshades, you know where to put the cork.

Very innovative.