Uncle Sugar Wants Your Kids: Google Patents a 3D Joe Camel

Google Toy Patent

An anthropomorphic device, perhaps in the form factor of a doll or toy, may be configured to control one or more media devices. Upon reception or a detection of a social cue, such as movement and/or a spoken word or phrase, the anthropomorphic device may aim its gaze at the source of the social cue. In response to receiving a voice command, the anthropomorphic device may interpret the voice command and map it to a media device command. Then, the anthropomorphic device may transmit the media device command to a media device, instructing the media device to change state.

It’s a good thing that Google hasn’t gone into the cigarette business.  Quartz reports that Google is developing a robot to monitor children based on a recent patent filing:

[A] toy that monitors your every move, created by the company that already knows pretty much everything about us adults. The patent application suggests its toy robots would be able to “profile” users to interpret visual cues differently in multiple users. Presumably this would require cameras constantly capturing and processing images while the device is on, and the patent suggests that data would be stored on a Google server.

Of course, Google is already scraping data about kids from YouTube and music business marketers have totally fallen for the idea that they just can’t get along without the YouTube data honey pot.  No doubt Eric “Uncle Sugar” Schmidt is laughing his tail off at how much of an administrative burden and royalty rip off he can impose on us, all the while keeping us focused like idiots on the bright and shiny object of the YouTube thimblerig.  IT’S THE DATA, STUPID!

Remember Joe Camel?  He doesn’t hold a candle to Uncle Sugar’s teddy bear.  Or to YouTube for that matter.