What Would Frank Do: Frankie and Danny

In honor of the Chairman’s 100th birthday anniversary, indulge me in a thought experiment.  Imagine, if you will, that Daniel Ek had a conversation with Frank Sinatra about freemium.

You see, Frank…may I call you Frank?

Most people call me Mr. Sinatra.  Particularly people who are trying to get my business.

Oh…OK Mr. Sinatra…I know you’re like…you know, old…but you have to understand how it works now…

Excuse me, kiddo, I don’t have to understand anything.

Well…OK…you see, we here at Spotify know that streaming is just inevitable.

That’s alright, Danny…may I call you Danny?  Dare to wear the foolish clown face.

We don’t think it’s foolish, it’s inevitable you know.  So that’s why we are committed to free music.

Hell hath no fury like a hustler with an investment banker.

Uh…we had this problem with Taylor Swift, too…

Tell Taylor I said I wish someone would try to hurt her so I could kill them for her.

Wow…that’s agressive.

Not really, Danny, the best revenge is massive success.

I don’t feel like we’re getting anywhere here, Mr. Sinatra.

Correct, Danny.  Another thing–I hear you are stiffing songwriters.  Why would I put my records with somebody who didn’t pay Sammy Cahn, Marilyn Bergman, Paul Anka, Ervin Drake?  I got nothing without these guys.  Why would I do business with somebody who doesn’t pay my songwriters?

That was a misunderstanding…

Well, there’s a real easy way to avoid misunderstandings, Danny.  But good luck with your little business, when you clean up your act, you might go far.  May you live to be a hundred, and may the last voice you hear be mine.