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Eric “Uncle Sugar” Schmidt Ankles the Google Chocolate Factory

December 26, 2017

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According to multiple news sources, Google’s Eric Schmidt (who MTP readers may know as “Uncle Sugar”) has stepped down from his job as Executive Chairman of the Chocolate Factory.

You remember Uncle Sugar, right?

The New York Post tells us: ‘

[T]he timing of Schmidt’s sudden move — along with the fact that Alphabet waited three days to disclose that Schmidt had told the company he was stepping down, according to a filing — raised questions.

Schmidt is a known womanizer despite being married for 37 years to Wendy Schmidt, who said in 2012 they started living separate lives because she felt like “a piece of luggage” following him around the world.

News outlets have been sniffing around Schmidt’s former flames looking for a Harvey Weinstein-like bombshell, a source close to Schmidt told The Post. But sources say there’s nothing there.

“They haven’t found s–t. Because there is no sexual harassment. There has never been any issue. They have had nothing. People have looked into it and people have not found anything,” the source said.

The source added that if something foul was afoot, Google would have canned Schmidt completely.

Right–just like they fired the Google executive team after the “Google Drugs” sting.   Oh, no, they didn’t, that’s right.  Or how they fired the Google executive team for paying what should have been personal fines with $500,000,000 of the shareholders’ money.  Oh, no, they didn’t, that’s right.  Or perhaps it was for taking the Fifth before the Senate Antitrust Subcommittee and telling Senator Cornyn what sure sounded like a lie to me (and, I think, to Senator Cornyn)–that Schmidt couldn’t discuss the nonprosecution agreement between Google and the U.S. government under which Google paid $500,000,000, then the largest corporate fine in US history?

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Eric Schmidt and Google lawyer David Drummond before Schmidt refused to answer on the advice of counsel.  Crime/fraud exception, anyone?

Taking the Fifth was so off base, Schmidt (and probably his lawyers) thought it required a separate statement for the record to correct his “confusion”?

Or perhaps it was for the $250 million Google paid in a shareholder lawsuit against the Google board and executive team (then including Sheryl Sandberg) over the Google Drugs case?  Oh no, they didn’t, that’s right.

Or perhaps it was for the way Schmidt treated Meagan Smith, former Google executive and then CTO of the United States, on a panel at SXSW?  Oh, no, they didn’t, that’s right.

This is one weird little guy, that’s for sure.  And is probably the man who knows too much.  Remember, Larry and Sergy recruited him at Burning Man.  And what happens at Burning Man stays at Burning Man.

They hope.

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